You said it yourself – you “exercise the self-sacrificing love” because “it is in such love that true worth, true meaning, true joy is to be found”. That's as quid pro quo as it gets. Yet, you say that's not selfishness. That is what strikes me as ironic.

Of course there is love. But if it's measured at all, it's the amount of acceptance that matters, not sacrifice. After all, sacrifices and martyrdom are always selfish. Only dedication that may in extreme cases cause the loss of one's life can be selfless.