The Singular Shade of Love
On the nature of the most misunderstood aspect of being
Humans tend to think of love as something that manifests in a relationship with someone or something other. This line of thought is also marked by measuring the amount of love in terms of how much a person is willing to sacrifice for that other. No wonder that people in general vehemently reject the idea that true love is a state of utmost selfishness.
However, all those behaviors and feelings people usually label as love are but attempts to negotiate a certain response from (usually) someone we deem as worthy to judge us. We want to be seen, recognized, and accepted for what we are. Furthermore, we want it from a particular corner of Universe we feel attracted to. So, we haggle with world for a pittance of complete acceptance.
If things don’t pan out as we like them to be, we take refuge in platonic hope that the tides may turn in our favor some day or that we will be at least appreciated for being nice that we can accept that we didn’t get what we hoped for. More often than not, however, people feel undervalued and betrayed, get jealous or worse.
People then either conclude that they are ugly, inadequate, repulsive even, or they get angry with the world for not recognizing their qualities and failing their expectations. In any case, the result is the same — the person in question feels unloved. Their desire for love is unfulfilled.
But even if our attempts at scrounging acceptance from the world are successful and we manage to lose ourselves in delirium of erotic romance for a short time, or if we find a sense of security in a bond of mutual friendship, these moments are brief and always end in one way or another. Even in the most propitious circumstances, there is always death that do us apart.
And again — the person in question feels unloved. Their desire for love goes unfulfilled.
Yet, few people realize that this whimpering for love, this desire for recognition and acceptance, is simply asking for permission to love ourselves. That is to say, to accept ourselves. All because our default nurture is to hate ourselves. Or at least to deem ourselves not adequate, not worthy of love, acceptance. So, if the world, let alone God, accepts us, we can too.
Bud God does not love you — God loves Himself.
God is without other. So, to experience companion, God makes Himself Many. Which of the Many should He prioritize? Which of the Many are more valuable than the rest? All are Him. Perfect from the outset, by the very definition.
Now, don’t get me wrong — interaction and relationships are what this relative Universe of Many that are but One is all about. That is the whole point. It’s just that if you cannot love yourself, you cannot love others. Conversely, if you love yourself completely and without reservations, you cannot help it and simply love the rest, then treat it accordingly.
After all, there is only one shade of love. The rest are just transactional relations.