Once I've heard an aphorism that if you have to ask whether it's okay to do something, the answer is most probably no.

As I see it, you want to solve a situation but are afraid of possible overall fallout. Well, if you are reluctant to go for a "full out war," you can have your cake and eat it too and just opt to retreat while making it crystal clear to the people in question that you are not an idiot, so they can keep their gaslighting (or whatever BS they try to pull off) for themselves.