I would say that the key is to be completely honest with oneself in terms of all personal ambitions, fears, and desires (i.e. motivations in general). The first step is to identify them at which point one should also already know where they come from. Once one surrenders to (i.e. accepts) that truth, one is able to distinguish which obligations to keep and which commitments to cut without feeling guilt or remorse (the choice should ideally bring a feeling of fulfillment or relief). Well, at least that's what worked for me.