I very much appreciate that you let me see a glimpse of your "private sanctuary" (for a lack of better words). Truly, thanks.

As for Descartes, yes that's how I understood him too (i.e. because I think, I can know that I am). All I'm saying is that even without thinking, I can know that I am.

If you can get past the religious undertones, you may be interested in this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGKFTUuJppU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0dugc4TrlE

I found those videos relatively late after I made my own "observations" on the nature of reality, but I can confirm (almost) everything that guy says.