I suspected that this would be the outcome. Well, you are waiting for Godot. Or better said, what you are waiting for is right before your eyes. And it always was. What you are waiting to become, you are and always were.

You live in exile and outside of Eden only because you believe that you live in exile and outside of Heaven. You are deliberately averting your eyes from reality. Stop believing and see.

Best regards from Kingdom of God. Yours sincerely.